Japanese children from a young age know how to be independent, disciplined and obedient. Parents of the country of the rising sun are always aware of teaching their children early with their very own reward and punishment.
In any country, children always have moments of excessive mischief and make mistakes unconsciously. Therefore, parents are not only role models, but also “executors of justice” in the family, needing to promptly recognize and correct children.
However, whipping and scolding are not necessarily a good way to teach children to be human. In many cases, these practices also backfire, causing children to become unruly and disobedient.
For the Japanese, they have a way of teaching their children that parents should reflect on and refer to.
1. Do not punish your child in public
American novelist Kate Lewis said she used to live and work in Japan for many years. It was this that gave her especially profound reflections when witnessing the Japanese way of educating and raising a child.
Specifically, in so many years, she has never seen Japanese parents getting angry or yelling at their children in public or in front of outsiders. After researching, she knew that this was an expression of the art of discipline, or shitsuke of cherry blossom country.
If the child makes a mistake, the parents will talk to the child in private, do not scold the child in public or in front of others. This approach helps children maintain their self-esteem and avoid affecting those around them.
2. Penalties only for acts
When children make mistakes, many parents tend to “get angry at the fish,” linking from one mistake to another, from today’s story to the past. This creates a feeling of “sin on top of guilt”, the mistake is getting heavier and heavier, making the parents even more angry and punishing the child with many severe forms.
However, Japanese parents often focus only on punishing their children’s mistakes. For example, when children spill food, dirty the floor, they will be asked to clean up by themselves to remember their mistakes and avoid repeating them.
This way of doing things helps children to be aware of the mistakes of the present, not bear the feeling of “being bullied” in their home.
3. Don’t let your child watch TV
Japanese parents have a word of mouth saying “Turn off the TV, turn on the idea”. They are always aware that watching TV takes time and can make children addicted. At the same time, if children watch TV too early and too much, the structure of the brain will be broken. From the television, a cathode current is generated from a voltage of 20,000 volts, which adversely affects the anterior lobe of the brain (the part that produces the ability to think) of humans.
Therefore, turning off the TV is not only a method of disciplining children, but also considered a principle to be applied every day. In order to change the attention of children, they will offer healthier, more rewarding outdoor games.
4. Respect your child’s feelings
Japanese parents are known to be strict people, but they always respect their children and others in all circumstances. This awareness makes parents always limit harsh words or behaviors that hurt children as much as possible.
No matter when a child makes a mistake, how angry parents are, they always put their children’s feelings first. Parents will sit down with their children, frankly point out the things that the children do not do right, then set an example or guide the children to correct their mistakes.
5. Discipline comes with reward
Japanese parents often encourage and praise their children’s actions when they realize their mistakes and correct themselves. Many families believe that the reward-punishment mechanism will help children realize the importance of trying to change themselves. When the effect changes positively, the children will be recognized and valued by their parents and adults.
From there, Japanese children will have a better sense of self-attention and behavior adjustment.
6. No coaxing
Many Vietnamese parents often take the initiative to comfort and soothe when they see a fussy child. However, the Japanese usually do not do this. When children throw tantrums, scream, cry loudly, they just don’t care, even walk away and leave the baby to cry alone.
This method makes children realize that bullying with adults is not effective, so they will not repeat the offense.
7. Teach your children discipline from a young age
Japanese families believe that, from a young age, it is necessary to promote discipline in their children so that later, the children will still be able to behave properly when they grow up. Therefore, from the first years, Japanese parents have set up rules of conduct to help children adjust their behavior and form good habits. Gradually, children are not controlled by others but can still develop that habit according to their own ability.
Discipline can vary with the age of the child and the parent’s perspective. Either way, Japanese parents still help children think, evaluate and adjust their own behavior.
(According to Toutiao)